Saying ‘Yes’ vs. saying ‘No’

All the ‘debate’ on health care in the US lately has really got my attention. Yes, I’m passionate about the issue and I’m annoyed at all the lies and fear being spread, but I’m also noticing something else. Most everyone involved is quick to say ‘no’ to what they don’t like, but few of these people are saying ‘yes’ to what they do want.

Saying ‘no’ is easy. Think about how many times we have told someone else what’s wrong with an idea. I know I’ve said “That will never work” so many times. Rather than saying someone’s idea won’t work what if we were to instead focus our effort on how to make the idea better. Or, perhaps, if we think that the idea is really bad. Instead we could offer an alternative suggestion.

The same principle applies when we examine our own life. So many times I’ve said to myself that I don’t like something about my life. For me, that has come out as “I’m too busy” or “I don’t like certain friends” or “I don’t like my job.” I’ve learned that when I focus on the negative, it’s easy to get stuck complaining and lose sight of what I really want.

I invite you to look at when you’re saying what you don’t want and turn that statement around to what is it that you do want. When we focus on what we do want we can see a desired state or a goal. Rather than complaining about a condition, we begin the steps to actually do something about it. We begin the process of getting clarity on our desires – our values.

Another way to look at this is to be aware of whether we’re running away from what we don’t like or running toward something new and exciting. Many times when we’re looking at options, it’s easy to focus on getting out of our current situation. It can be much more rewarding to look at what we’re running toward. For example, I remember several job changes when I was younger where I really didn’t like my job and was moving to something new to run away from the job I didn’t like. In the long run, these changes didn’t work out any better. It wasn’t until I looked at the underlying issues and focused on what I was going toward that I started making decisions that worked out better for me.

A primary theme that I’ve been focused on this year is creating from what is. This is about looking at what’s been presented to us and seeing what we can create from that. Another way of looking at this is doing the best from the hand that we’re dealt. We’re often used to saying ‘no’ or complaining about what’s been dealt. Isn’t it more interesting to look at what we have and see what’s available from that? Look at other’s ideas and see what you can create from them. Rather than complain about something in your life see what you can do with it.

When I think about this I remember the scene from Apollo 13 where the engineers were given a box of stuff and had to come up with a solution to the problem that would get the spacecraft back. The supplies seemed to be, more or less, random yet they were able to use what they were given to get the crew home safely.

In the spirit of creating from what is Monday August September 7 is Labor Day and the Bay Bridge will be closed for the entire weekend. So, we’re moving Mindful Self Loving to the previous Wednesday (September 2). This change is for September only; we will meet again the first Monday of each month in October (October 5.) Also, I'm now able to take credit cards at the door; there's no need to run to the ATM!

Join a circle of wonderful men exploring ways of being more mindful around the way we pleasure ourselves. We gather at Heartwalker Studio in Oakland from 7:00 - 10:00 pm. Join us for conscious, open-hearted erotic education and practice, specifically focused on developing self-pleasuring skills for personal growth, self-awareness and spiritual evolution. The first half of the evening we'll explore some group exercises to focus on linking spirit and body. The second half of the evening will be a self-pleasuring ritual. This is a hands on, clothing off event and we work to create a safe space where everyone is welcome and comfortable. 18 and over; men only - being male is self defined. There's more information here.

Wildwood Men's Festival

The Wildwood Men's Festival will be on Friday September 18 through Sunday September 20. The weekend promises to be a wonderful time to reconnect to your body in the company of other conscious men. Sessions will include Shamanic Journeying, Integrating Sex and Spirit, Massage, finding your pathway to happiness and many more. For the adventurous and the curious, we're also offering a day on the new Wildwood ropes course. This promises to be a great weekend to connect and I look forward to seeing you there!

Enjoy what's left of summer!

Ed

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